I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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