Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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