i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
they need to just BURY HIM!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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