im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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