He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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