Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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