I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize