apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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