my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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