My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize