Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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