I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize