I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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