Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize