She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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