take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize