sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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