I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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