PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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