i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How does it feel to date your dad?
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