the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This house was built for laser tag.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
last night I used snow as a chaser
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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