it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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