i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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