Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
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Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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