You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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