yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize