Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
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Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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