i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize