Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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