there's paper in my vomit.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize