I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize