im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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