There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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