Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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