I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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