i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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