Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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