If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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