I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize