I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize