Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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