You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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