its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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