Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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