Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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