I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
no, he came in my armpit
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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