I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize