So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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