plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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