okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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