Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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